Sales letters are very personal things – think of them as being the salesman in the room but without the benefit of any feedback from the person you’re trying to sell to other than them clicking the buy button or not.
They also depend on where the person is in the buying process – it’s a lot different for me coming to your sales letter “cold” than it would be if I’d been on your list for a while and knew a bit more about you.
Near the top of a sales letter is your “hook” – you’ve got a fairly classic design of a main headline with a pre-headline before it and a sub-head after. That works nicely a lot of the time.
To me, the modules are out of the order I’d expect but (for me) that could be solved with a pre-module about finding a niche – you’ve got the offer of that in the personal support section. If most of your potential buyers already know their niche (so maybe you’re pitching at the large group of people spinning their wheels) then that’s OK and could be in a module called support materials or similar.
Also, so me, the flipping websites isn’t congruent with the rest of the page. But – like everything to do with this business – it could just be me & your target market may find it fits perfectly well.
Basically the more you get in the mind of your buyer the better – think of the movie Being John Malkovich.
All that said, the best test is sending potential buyers to the page.
Warrior + will give you lots of stats once that starts happening.
But remember that not all people visiting your page are equal – I get a lot higher take-up on my offers when they’re sent to my list, conversion rate usually goes down when affiliates send traffic. But if the affiliate has done a good job warming people up for the offer, they get a higher conversion rate than anyone else, even me.
Visually, there’s quite a few walls of text. You’ve got coloured boxes but the text in them is all the same. A few bolds here and there would draw people’s attention to the parts of the bullets you most want people to read. Keep in mind that you’re one of the few people in the world who will read your sales letter word for word – most of us don’t.
And at the end of the day, my opinion is only an opinion.
The huge plus point is you’ve got something done – that’s excellent.
Send some potential buyers to it from your list, from YouTube videos, etc.
If you get a decent percentage of them paying you money, send more of them.
If you think you could do better, test the headline first.